Safety Planning

Your safety and the safety of your children is the most important thing. Listed below are tips to help keep you safe.

Safety during an explosive incident …

• If you can see an argument coming, (often you can not), attempt to go to a room or area with an exit - Not to a bathroom (near hard surfaces), a kitchen (knives), or anywhere near weapons.
• If possible, remain in a room with a phone so you can call 911, the police, or a neighbor.
• Practice how to get out of your home - visualize your escape route.
• Ask a neighbor to call the police if they hear a disturbance.
• Devise a code word to use with your children and others to indicate you need the police.
• Trust your instincts and judgment. If the situation is very dangerous, consider any action that might calm things to give you time to assess what to do next.

Safety when preparing to leave …

Abusers try to control their victim's lives. When abusers feel a loss of control - like when victims try to leave them - the abuser will escalate their tactics. Keep being careful even after you have left.

• Open a savings account in your own name. Consider direct deposit of your paycheck or benefit check. If partner does not allow you to have your own income, attempt to put small amounts in the account from grocery money or the allowance the abuser provides.
• Have a packed bag ready with any medications, extra keys, money, clothes, child’s familiar toy, and other important documents - keep it hidden. Consider leaving the bag elsewhere if your abuser searches the home.
• Plan for where you will go if you have to leave home- who could you stay with - who could lend you money.
• Keep a cell phone with you, if you do not have one 911 emergency cell phones are available at the police station, courthouse, and Friends of Abused Families.
• Review your safety plan as often as possible in order to plan the safest way to leave your abuser.
• Keep some change or a telephone calling card with you at all times for emergency phone calls. Consider getting a cell phone if possible.

REMEMBER-LEAVING CAN BE THE MOST DANGEROUS TIME

Important items to remember when planning to leave …

• Driver's license, Social Security Card, Passport, Birth Certificate- any form of identification.
• Money, bank books, checkbooks, credit cards, ATM cards, and mortgage payment book
• Divorce and custody papers
• Insurance papers and medical records
• Lease or House deed
• Keys-house/car/office
• Personal items such as medications, glasses, clothes, address book, pictures, jewelry and items of sentimental value for you and your children, and other dependents.

Safety in your home (if your abuser does not live with you) …

• Change the locks on your doors as soon as possible.
• Buy additional locks and safety devices to secure your windows.
• Consider installing or increasing outside lighting.
• If you have young children or other dependants living with you, discuss a safety plan for when you are not with them. Develop a code word or safe word to use if the abuser is around.
• Make sure to inform caregivers, school, and babysitters about who has permission to pick your children up.
• Inform neighbors and your landlord that your abuser no longer lives with you and they should call the police if they see your abuser near your home.

Safety in public (at school, on the job or at social activities) …

• Decide who you will inform of your situation. This could include your child’s school, office, or building security (provide a picture of your abuser if possible).
• If possible, arrange to have someone screen your telephone calls.
• Have someone escort you to your car, bus, or taxi. Use a variety of routes to go home.
• Think about what you would do if something happened while going home.
• If a restraining order was obtained, keep copies at work, school, in your car, at the daycare…